God’s Wisdom for True Friendship

Jamie FarquharYouth Ministry Blog

We all want amazing friends who are trustworthy, kind, encouraging, loyal, fun, and we’re able to enjoy the highs and lows of life with, right?! Did you know God wants friends like that for you too (in addition Him being the ultimate friend for you and so much more)?!

Have you ever found picking friends to be hard, though? Maybe you thought someone was going to be a great friend, but they would up getting you in trouble or gave continually terrible advice that made situations worse.

The pain, confusion, and betrayal that happens in friendships is a result of what the world- through movies, tv shows, music, Youtubers, and other things you watch, read, and listen to- says they should contain; most of which are behaviors and attitudes God knows are unhealthy for any type of relationship, especially friendships (roasting/making fun of insecurities, trash talking, lying and manipulating to get your way, not spending time asking deeper questions to learn what matters to and is on the heart of others, holding grudges, gossiping, and betraying someone’s trust/ditching them when it is beneficial are just a few things this world says typical friendships can/should include).

Guess what, though?! God has a ton of wisdom He wants so badly tell you about concerning how to pick and find kind, God following (and thus growing more in to His likeness), honest, encouraging, joyful, loyal, fair and foul weather friends, and He’s laid it out in the Bible so it is completely accessible to you!

For this to happen in our lives, we have to trust His guidance, choose our close friends as He leads us through Scripture and prayer, and be willing to adjust the circle of our closest friends according to His wisdom This is the only way to find and experience the kind of friendships we all long for (because it is the kind of friendship He made us for)!




Jesus on Friendship

John 15:12-15 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.”

How To Pick Your Friends

Proverbs 12:26 The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.

Proverbs 13:20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Proverbs 14:6-7 The mocker seeks wisdom and finds none, but knowledge comes easily to the discerning. Stay away from a fool, for you will not find knowledge on their lips.

Proverbs 22:24-25 Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.

1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

Proverbs 16:8 A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends

Proverbs 20:6 Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable?

Proverbs 18:24 There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother

Proverbs 22:11 Whoever loves a pure heart and gracious speech will have the king as a friend.

How To Treat Your Friends

Luke 6:31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.

Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.

Ephesians 4:29-32 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Colossians 3:12-15 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

Proverbs 27:5-6 An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy (this must be done in love with consideration, compassion, and empathy for your friend)

Proverbs 27:9 The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.

Importance of Friendships

Proverbs 11:14 Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.

Proverbs 17:17 A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.

Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.

Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, so one friend sharpens another.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

A Few Godly Friendships to Check Out

  • David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 18:1-3, all chapter 20)
  • Ruth and Naomi (Ruth 1:8-18)
  • Elijah and Elisha (1Kings 19:19-21, 2 Kings 2:1-12)
  • Paul and his friends in ministry (Romans 16:3-5; 2 Corinthians 2:12-13; Philippians 2:25; Colossians 4:7, 14; 2 Timothy 1:2-4; Philemon chapter 1)